Monaco Court: Kelly Rutherford’s Kids to Officially Spend Summer in U.S.

Inside a Palais de Justice just blocks from the Monaco palace, Kelly Rutherford won one battle Monday in her six-year war with ex-husband Daniel Giersch over the custody of their two children.

A judge has ordered that Helena, 6, and Hermes, 8, fly to the United States on July 3 to spend the summer with their mother – but as of now, they’ll return to Monaco at the end of their trip to continue living with their father, whom Rutherford divorced in 2009.

“I am pleased with the outcome and that the children will be coming to the US for a part of their summer vacation,” Rutherford said in a statement to PEOPLE. “I am reassured by the Monaco process and the judge. Although I still maintain my legal objections about Monaco hearing the case, my serenity is restored.”

Rutherford, 46, and Giersch, 41, each had two attorneys by their side as they gathered in the judge’s chambers in the courthouse, which sits high atop the Rock of Monaco, across from the famous cathedral where Prince Rainier and Grace Kelly are buried.

But Wendy Murphy, who represents the children on behalf of Rutherford in New York, insists the court didn’t have the power to make any formal ruling, adding that Rutherford objects to Monaco claiming jurisdiction.

“The children are allowed to come to the U.S. because Monaco knows it has no authority to assert jurisdiction,” she tells PEOPLE. “So it’s not that Monaco ‘allowed’ the children to return to their own country, it’s that they had no choice – because American citizens can never be forced to live in a foreign country – period. Unless the kids are dual citizens – and these kids are not.”

Giersch’s California attorney, Fahi Takesh Hallin, told PEOPLE earlier this month that the German businessman had no problem sending their son and daughter to the States for the summer, as he had done ever since their 2012 arrangement went into effect. But Rutherford was wary.

“I am concerned that he will try to further prevent me from spending time with them,” she said in a statement July 11

The new ruling is a comfort to the Gossip Girl star, though the estranged couple are still fighting over custody. Rutherford and Giersch have had joint custody since 2012, when Hermes and Helena moved with him to Europe after his U.S. visa was revoked, forcing Rutherford to travel back and forth to see their children. She wants them to relocate to the United States permanently, but he’s pushing for them to stay in Monaco.

It’s become an international custody dispute that’s attracted the attention of celebrities like Kim Kardashian West, who rallied behind Rutherford on social media.

Rutherford and Giersch will face off in a Los Angeles court July 9.

Murphy says she believes the L.A. judge will rule in her client’s favor following this month’s allegation that Giersch forged an email about the terms of his visa revocation. (Hallin shot down the accusation, calling the revocation “unfortunately very real.”)

“Monaco only asserted jurisdiction because the kids were living there for so long – which was caused by this country – but only because the children’s father submitted a fraudulent document and falsely claimed he was unable to enter the United States,” Murphy says.

“Now we look forward to the California court in July fixing this mess and bringing the children home for good,” she adds. “Their father can visit them here as he should have from day one because he is free to enter this country on a passport.”

Giersch is not commenting on Monday’s hearing.

SOURCE – PEOPLE. MAGAZINE

Mother Sentenced to 10 Months for Fleeing with Daughter

Well-Respected Doctor Pleads Guilty for Fleeing to Protect Daughter:

Must Serve 10 Months in Prison

Genevieve and Scott Kelley pleaded guilty to misdemeanor charges of custodial interference in a New Hampshire courtroom on Wednesday – bringing an end to a decade-long saga.

In 2003, Genevieve’s daughter, then 7-year-old Mary Nunes, claimed her father sexually abused her. The state investigated the claims but her father was never charged. After legal channels failed her, Genevieve says, she had no choice but to leave her life behind in order to protect her daughter.

The Kelleys and Mary left for Central America and lived in Costa Rica until Mary turned 18 and the U.S. court system could no longer force Mary to see her father. In November, Genevieve, 51, and her 10-year-old son John, who was born to her and Scott while living in Honduras, returned to the U.S. to face charges felony charges of custodial interference and witness tampering.

The witness tampering charges were dropped, as well as all felony charges. Scott, 50, will begin a five-month sentence on Monday, after spending Father’s Day with Genevieve and John. Once he completes his sentence, Genevieve will begin a 10-month sentence.

“She and Scott very much want to get on with their lives,” Genevieve’s attorney Alan Rosenfeld tells PEOPLE. “They want the finality.”

Meanwhile, Mary, who returned to the U.S. in April after revealing her identity to authorities, continues to live with a family friend in an undisclosed location. She will not be able to reunite with her family until after Genevieve completes her sentence, according to a court order.

EXCERPTS from:

Kidnapper Mom Genevieve Kelley Pleads Guilty to Misdemeanor Charges

http://www.people.com/…/kidnapper-mom-genevieve-kelley-plea…

[Comment on article]

NOTE: It’s a shame Genevieve and Scott pleaded guilty. It would have been great if they went to trial so the public could see all the evidence of sexual abuse that was disregarded and covered up. Mainstream media was on this case and the public would have gotten wind of the bias and corruption in Family Court and affiliated agencies, including CPS, law enforcement and the D.A.’s office, that lead to children being given to abusers and molesters.

A jury would not likely have convicted two such pillars of the community for doing what society expects them to do: protect a child from a horrific crime. Neither of them should have to spend a day in prison.

SHAME on District Attorney John McCormick for prosecuting this Protective Mother!

Previous Safe Kids posts:

Protective Mom Makes this Week’s People Magazine

https://www.facebook.com/SafeKidsInternational/photos/pb.402177413135846.-2207520000.1434602927./921376487882600

Victory!! Girl – Now Adult – Returns from Hiding after 11 Years!

https://www.facebook.com/SafeKidsInternational/photos/pb.402177413135846.-2207520000.1432083062./906810586005857/

Fugitive Mom Comes Out of Hiding for Younger Son’s Medical Care

https://www.facebook.com/SafeKidsInternational/photos/pb.402177413135846.-2207520000.1432083139./842523609101222/

[Pictured: Genevieve (left); Mary with Scott and attorney Alan Rosenfeld (top right); Criminal Court Judge Peter Bornstein (upper middle right); District Attorney John McCormick (lower middle right); Genevieve with supporters (bottom right)]

Can Parental Alienation (PAS) Be Overcome

Welcome to our first of many blogs as we delve in to the depths of Parental Alienation, Gas Lighting and Narcissistic behaviors that is witnessed and experienced all too often within the court rooms and in the many homes of children who are being exposed to the multitude of abuse that is inflicted on them by the Family Court System and subsequently the toxic co parent.

It is true to say, having been exposed to Parental Alienation first hand and spoken to hundred of other parents currently facing the devastating pains that Parental Alienation causes, there is nothing that stirs up passions more than the controversy generated when parents are at war over the custody of a child.

Co Parenting with a Toxic Ex is a challenge in the first place and even harder when they are actively engaging in sever parental alienation.

Parental Alienation is a debilitating issue  that is on the rise at extraordinary speed and what is confusing for so many parents is this…….on one hand there are volumes of articles that state that PA or PAS is not a defined syndrome or disorder – yet too many Family Courts, Judges, Attorneys and Custody Evaluators are using the term as a medium to remove a child from a loving parent (affectionally known as the Left Behind Parent).

Children’s lives are being destroyed!

Extreme controversy is the issue where evidence on both sides can make a compelling case………………BUT when the “facts” making the compelling case are fabricated, incomplete facts become evidence, the people presenting the facts are narcissistic, exude great manipulation and have the money that talks – the victims and the suffers are the children caught in the cross fire and subsequently, the loving, left behind parent.

The Family Justice system is buckling under the pressure and sheer volume of divorce and custody case that exist. Don’t get me wrong, I do blame the Judges for making dire and poor decisions, but one thing can be said – they are way too busy to deal with the proverbial bullshit that reveals itself in their court room and too many Judges are ill equipped to recognize the variety of personality disorders that are present in the court rooms.

Sure – it is never black and white, but when people have their emotions aroused, an issue can quickly turn into two polar opposites and that is why many Judges rely on Custody Evaluators, GAL’s Parenting Coordinators and even Mediators to assist and provide evidence to help them make custodial orders.

As we work through and add to our blog, we will be bringing to you individual cases that need highlighting and assistance in returning children to their loving, left behind parent. We will highlight the need and assist with bring children home who have been abducted but the toxic co parent, both within the States and Internationally.

Our goal is to collaborate with other non profit organizations and suffering left behind parents to provide assistance to the many children who have been lost within the Family Justice system and give those children a platform, a voice and an audience to allow them to be heard. We will be here to allow them to exercise their him and yet basic right to be allowed to have a loving and rewarding relationship with both parents.

The Family Justice system needs a complete makeover and the people in power need to be re-educated and shown how they can and SHOULD be protecting the rights of our children. This is not rocket science people. Putting it pure and simply – you are failing the children of our society and tearing families apart and destroying lives.

We will look at how and if Parental Alienation can be overcome and how children can turn the corner from the affects PA has on them. We are here for the children.

Remember, it is not about a mother or fathers rights – it is about the child’s right to have a loving and fulfilling relationship with both parents.

We will not shy away from naming and shaming Judges and Attorney’s. We will not shy away from naming and shaming other people how hold positions that they abuse that have affected so many children who are now lost in the system and have lost contact with the Left Behind Parent and we certainly will name and shame parents who actively engage in abducting, unlawfully withholding and conducting parental alienation with their children against the Left Behind Parent.

Stay tuned as we also publish a long and detailed diary of a parent who went through the arduous and emotional journey of a 730 Custody Evaluation.

…to be a parent is a privilege – not a right!

Ex-Brunswick Judge Indicted for Violating Oath of Office

A Fulton County grand jury has indicted the former chief judge of the Brunswick Judicial Circuit for making false statements and violating her oath of office as her judicial conduct was investigated nearly four years ago.

In 2011, the state Judicial Qualifications Commission filed ethics charges against Chief Judge Amanda Williams, accusing her of “willful misconduct” and “tyrannical partiality.” The JQC cited claims of the judge doing judicial favors for friends and family members, conducting ex parte meetings with litigants and lawyers and ordering others locked up for little or no reason.

In one case, Williams was accused of jailing Lindsey Dills, a young drug court participant, for an indefinite term. The woman ultimately spent 5½ years in Williams’ drug court, including more than a year in jail for cashing two forged checks totaling $100 on her father’s checking account, according to the JQC.

Williams announced in December 2011 that she would voluntarily step down, ending the prosecution by the JQC.

In January 2012, Brunswick Circuit District Attorney Jackie Johnson, whose bid for office had been supported by Williams, asked Georgia Attorney General Sam Olens to appoint a special prosecutor to investigate whether Williams should face criminal charges.

Olens appointed Fulton County DA Paul Howard as special conflict prosecutor, and his office presented the case to the grand jury more than three years later.

According to the false statement count of the indictment, on Aug. 5, 2011, Williams falsely stated during a hearing before the JQC that she had given no direction to the Glynn County Sheriff’s Office regarding Dills’ incarceration.

The violation of oath of office count of the indictment said that, by making a false statement to the JQC, Williams had breached her judicial oath to “perform all duties incumbent on her as a judge of the Superior Courts” in violation of the law.

Both offenses carry a sentence of one to five years in prison.

There was no response to a message left for Williams at her St. Simons Island telephone number, and the Daily Report was unable to reach her Brunswick attorney, John J. Ossick Jr., or her Atlanta attorney, Alston & Bird partner Steven M. Collins.

JQC Chairman Lester Tate had not seen the indictment when contacted by the Daily Report, but he noted that his agency had no role in the bringing of the criminal charges.

“We’ve cooperated with the prosecutorial authorities, but we did not refer it for prosecution,” said Tate. “The two things we can’t control are, one, whether a judge tells the truth, and two, whether a prosecutor is going to try to make a case.”

No current member of the JQC testified before the grand jury, Tate said, but former JQC Director Jeff Davis, now executive director of the State Bar of Georgia, was called before the panel.

1. Robin McDonald contributed to this article.

PARENTAL ABDUCTION ALERT – 2 children from La Grange reported missing, possibly in Mexico

LA GRANGE, KY (WAVE) – Police believe there is evidence a man accused of kidnapping his two children, fled to Mexico.

According to La Grange police, Edgar Gutierrez, 40, has unsupervised visitation of his children Alex, 10, and Ethan, 6. He picked them up on Friday, May 29, for the weekend. He was expected to return the children to their mother on Sunday at a McDonalds’s in La Grange, but never showed.

The children’s mother filed a missing persons report with the La Grange Police Department Sunday night. His sisters want their brothers to know they searching for them.

“I just want them to know, we’re looking for you. You do belong here with us. Don’t be scared, cry out for help,” said Eunice Gutierrez.

Maria Olguin, the boy’s mother, said Gutierrez had threatened to take the boys to Mexico after she took a domestic violence order against him.
La Grange police tracked Gutierrez to Brownsville, Texas just before 9 p.m. Sunday night. He was last tracked across the border in Mexico.

Brownsville Police issued a warrant for Gutierrez for two counts of kidnapping, felony custodial interference and endangering a minor.

According to family members, both of the missing boys are citizens of the United States and do not speak Spanish. Eunice said, she remembers the feeling of being in an unfamiliar country and with an unknown language because she immigrated to the United States years ago.

“I was 7. I was Ethan’s age. It’s really scary,” said Eunice.

The family will now have to file an application with the Hague Convention to get the children back from Mexico. The treaty was designed to protect children from abduction across international boundaries. The Gutierez’s will submit the application to the Mexican government and then a judge will decide where the children will reside. They are asking for assistance from anyone who has completed this process in the past: Euniceg05@gmail.com.

Anyone with information in this case is asked to call the La Grange Police Department at (502) 225-0444 or Oldham County Dispatch at (502) 222-0111.

“We love you and we just want you back in our arms,” said Eunice.

The family has set up a fundraising account to help their mother get to Mexico to fight to get Ethan and Alex back to the United States.

The Federal Bureau of Investigations, INTERPOL, U.S. Customs and Immigration and the Brownsville Police Department are all assisting La Grange police in the search.

http://www.wave3.com/story/29210578/two-children-from-la-grange-reported-missing-possibly-in-mexico

2 Year Old Boy Taken From Parents Over Smoke

A two-year-old boy has been taken from his parents’ care after a health visitor highlighted concerns about the level of cigarette smoke at his home.

Health visitor Julie Allen told a family court judge that she had not come across such a “smoky house” in her 10-year career.

She described the little boy and his father being surrounded by a “visible cloud of smoke” – and said she had difficulty breathing.

Judge Louise Pemberton, who was also told of a number of other concerns about the way the youngster was being cared for, concluded that he should be placed for adoption.

Detail of the case has emerged in a written ruling by the judge following a family court hearing in Hull.

The judge said the family could not be identified. She did not identify the local authority which had asked for the little boy to be placed for adoption, b ut she named individual health and social services staff who had worked with the family.

Judge Pemberton said the little boy had breathing problems and needed an inhaler, a nd she said Ms Allen had “graphically highlighted” concerns about smoke.

“On entering the living room Ms Allen described being able to see a visible cloud of smoke surrounding the father and (the boy),” said the judge.

“(The boy) was asleep on the sofa and had been unwell for some time by this point.

“Ms Allen described the room as ‘so smoke entrenched that I had difficulty breathing’.

“She immediately expressed concern to the parents as to the impact of such smoke on (the boy), who had already been prescribed an inhaler within the previous month to help his breathing.

“The parents seemed unable both at that stage and when the issue of smoking around (the boy) was raised by any other professional, to acknowledge or appreciate the concern and adapt their behaviour.

Judge Pemberton added: “Ms Allen … had not come across such a smoky house in many years (she has been a health visitor for 10 years) and never with such a poorly boy sleeping amidst the smoke.”

The judge said community nursery nurse Emma Green had told how the floor of the little boy’s home was “cluttered” with rubbish including empty cigarette packets – and had said the boy’s home “often smelt very strongly of smoke”.

Social worker Sarah Tomblin had said the little boy’s toys and clothes “smelt heavily of smoke”.

Health and social services staff had also raised other concerns about the boy’s care.

The judge was told that the boy’s father had mental health problems, that there had been a “decline” in his parents’ “engagement with agencies”, that the boy’s home was “dirty, smelly and unhygienic”.

She also heard that “potential drug paraphernalia” had been spotted at the boy’s home and she said the boy’s father had tested positive for cocaine.

Judge Pemberton said she was “afraid” that the little boy had suffered harm. She said his parents’ care of him had fallen well below “good enough”.

“I am afraid that all of these matters lead me to an unavoidable and difficult conclusion that the risks to (the little boy) in being placed with his parents are far too high,” said the judge.

“The parents have given me no confidence in their written or oral evidence that they have sufficient understanding and awareness in relation to the professionals’ concerns to ensure that such concerns would not arise again in the future.

“Adoption really is the only option now available to (the little boy), in my view, nothing else will do.”

She added: “I want (the little boy) to know that in my judgment his parents loved him very much and tried very hard but they were simply not able to meet his needs. ”

The couple had opposed the local authority application for their son to be placed for adoption.

Judge Pemberton said the boy’s mother had disputed many of the concerns raised about conditions at home and about “levels of smoke”.

She had told the judge “we did not smoke in the house” and said she had been “paranoid” about cleanliness.

The judge said she had found much of the woman’s evidence “hard to accept”.

She said the boy’s father had accepted that there was “thick smoke at the property”.

By PRESS ASSOCIATION

UK Family Judges Seek Protection From Parents In ‘Unsafe’ Courts

Dangerously inadequate security arrangements during family cases leave officials vulnerable to attack, say judges…………Family judges across England say they fear being attacked by angry or disturbed parents because security in court is often dangerously inadequate.

It is rare for judges to raise their concerns publicly, but a number have taken the unusual step of speaking out to criticise security at the principal registry of the family division (PRFD) in central London, and also at district courts around the country.

In one incident, a female judge was seriously injured in an attack. Judges also told of parents shouting threats at them, as well as throwing books and cups.

“I have been threatened,” one judge told the Guardian, speaking under condition of anonymity. “A very angry father stood up and shouted antisemitic threats at me. Another father threw a cup of water across the courtroom. Another parent threw a book, but fortunately I was too far away for it to reach me.”

A second judge, also speaking anonymously, said of the PRFD: “I’m constantly, constantly exposed when I work there. There’s no security in the courtroom. None. Sometimes we are in the courtroom alone with a parent. Most commonly, we sit with a clerk, who, in my experience, is always an elderly woman. If anything went wrong, believe you me, she would not be the one defending me.

“We shouldn’t have to walk in the public corridors of a building where we have just removed someone’s child for ever,” the judge added. “At the PRFD, there are no private corridors for judges at all, which means we have to walk through public waiting areas and corridors when moving between courtrooms, entering and leaving the building. We can’t even go to the loo without passing through a public area. I feel uncomfortable every time I have to do it. I’m very aware of the constant risk.”

A third judge who has worked in the PRFD and courts across London said: “Most district judges, even those doing highly charged family cases, do not have courtrooms at all but hear the cases in their chambers with the public sitting around the table, and they don’t have anyone in the court room at all. I have never understood why it is thought that they are less at risk than the higher judiciary.”

One circuit judge, who sits in county and crown courts and also in the family division in London, said security arrangements were inadequate. “These are the most volatile, sensitive courts in the land, and one of these days there’s going to be trouble in them. The risks are not being addressed properly and unless someone starts considering the security properly then it’s a disaster waiting to happen. It will take one serious incident and someone will wake up to the fact that the system is not safe for family judges.”

The Guardian has learned of a recent incident when a female judge was seriously injured by an aggrieved parent in the courtroom. The judge has confirmed the violent and deliberate attack but preferred not to give details.

“While it’s true that you can’t exclude a chance of an attack … the question is whether the essential issue of us judges being hidden away from the public is being complied with, and the answer is, it’s not,” said a judge who hears cases in the PRFD. “The second question is how protected we judges are when in the courtroom,” she said. “The answer to that question is, again, that we’re not. The only thing we can do is try to pick out cases with potential violence … and transfer them to the Royal Courts of Justice.”

Judges said county courts often do not have a courtroom and a retiring room for district judges. This forces them to hear cases in their chambers, with those involved often sitting uncomfortably close, while the lack of a retiring room means judges have nowhere to go to go if it became necessary to escape an aggressive parent.

“If anything happens, the only place to run is through an adjoining door between my court and that of the other district judge,” said a family judge at a court in outer London.

“People blow up in court, of course they do, we’re taking their children away. We do have security in my court but they consist of very elderly men and a couple of young girls. The fact that it has not happened so far doesn’t mean that it won’t.”

Another said: “No judge should ever have to sit without a clerk or usher in the courtroom but that is happening all over. It is very bad at the PRFD at the moment.”

District judge Nicholas Crichton, founder of the family drug and alcohol court at Wells Street family proceedings court in central London, who was given a CBE in this year’s Queen’s birthday honours list, said it was a “recipe for flashpoint” to compel judges to walk through public areas and share corridors. Crichton said it was unfair to put anxious parents under the added stress of close proximity with the judge ruling on their case. “Emotions run high. These parents are coming to court feeling criticised about how they treat their children and terrified they’re going to have their children removed. That’s a pretty toxic mix, but they’re not criminals. Everything they have read in the paper and on TV leads them to be frightened of coming to court.”

Crichton created an informal regime in Wells Street to reduce the risk of violence. “I’m not going to tell you that we’ve never had violent incidents here,” he said. “We have, but they’re few and far between because we have designed a system where parents feel respected from the moment they enter the building.”

There are no publicly available statistics for the number of attacks on judges, but a spokesman for the judicial office at the Royal Courts of Justice said: “While we have noticed no recent increase in the level of significant incidents, security continues to be treated as a serious issue. The judiciary monitors security regularly, with input from a broad range of judges in different locations and courts.”

A spokesperson from her majesty’s courts and tribunals service said: “HMCTS takes the issue of security within courts extremely seriously. Our security system is continually monitored to ensure that it is effective and proportionate and mitigates against risks faced.”

Source: Guardian

MP John Mann Addresses UK Parliament on Child Sexual Abuse

MP Mann Makes Passionate Speech First Day of Parliament

Inspired by New Report of VIP Child Rape Ring:

Including Judge, Lord, Politicians & Policemen

“[Sexual abuse] is going to be one of the defining issues of the next five years. It’s going to corrode everything over this Parliament because it is so large; it is so huge; it’s involved so many people… This is nationwide and touches every aspect of society…”

– MP John Mann to Parliament

From: https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=18&v=I8QV2dn3gMQ

MP John Mann makes a passionate speech about CSA [Child Sexual Abuse] on the 1st day of the new parliament. He inducts new members into the ‘scandal’ of CSA in the country, and explains that he has put down an early day motion asking for the Official Secrets Act to be lifted for officials who wish to give evidence to help answer the question of how Cyril Smith, and others, were allowed to get away with prolific child abuse for so many years.

…A child sex abuse victim claims she was abused by a politician who assaulted her as uniformed policemen stood guard.

Esther Baker has told detectives she was a among a group of children who were regularly abused by the political figure, who is from the ‘recent era’, during the 1980s and 1990s.

Ms Baker, who has waived her right to anonymity, said police officers would keep watch as she was sexually abused, occasionally joining in.

Staffordshire Police have now launched an investigation into the child abuse ring following Ms Baker’s claims.

…Speaking to Sky News, Ms Baker, who says she was abused from the age of six, claims the politician is from the current era.

…I kind of knew…that when they were in uniform that it was going to be a rough night.

Ms Baker said that on one occasion she tried to run away, but was stopped by a police officer who told her he was ‘sorry’. The time has come for that officer to come forward, she added.

…The politician liked it when she played the piano, Ms Baker recalled, getting her to sit on his lap while she did so.

She said: ‘He was part of it for four years. One of the core members. He was there quite often – I was one of his favourites.

‘I would know that face anywhere. I have lived with it and others in my head for over 20 years, I know every inch of him,’ Ms Baker added.

She says she and the other children, of varying ages, were given alcohol and were often filmed.

..She believes a Lord and a judge may have been among her abusers, who she says also assaulted her inside buildings around Staffordshire.

Ms Baker has given a graphic account of her abuse to detectives and is now appealing to other victims to come forward.

She added: ‘I always swore I would never go near the police again – never … but I have hid it for 20 years, that has not worked, that hasn’t taken the fear away – I have got nothing to lose any more.’

Staffordshire Police were unable to say whether the politician is still alive, or whether he is still in public office…

EXCERPTS from:

VIPs raped me in wood as police stood guard: Child sex abuse victim claims judge and peer were among gang

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/…/Child-sex-abuse-victim-claims-…

RELATED ARTICLES:

British police say 261 people of ‘prominence’ suspected of child sex abuse

http://uk.reuters.com/…/uk-britain-abuse-idUKKBN0O51SX20150…

Celebrities, politicians and sports stars among 1,400 suspects probed over child sex abuse

http://www.express.co.uk/…/Operation-Hydrant-historic-claim…

Ssshhhhhhhhh – I’m Hiding From Negative People

There are times when you may be faced with challenging situations, challenging people or simply have come to a cross road and really aren’t sure which direction to go in. Have faith in what you know to be the truth, have faith in knowing who you are and have faith that if the path you choose is not quire right, you can always change direction.

Many many many many years ago, I chose a path that allowed me to rid negative people from my life that were not healthy for me. A decision I did not make easily but a decision I knew in my heart, was one I needed to make.

At times I did waver and think I had chosen the wrong path. I would find myself taking a few steps back and would straddle both roads at times……………but in the end, the original road I took was subsequently the right one. More recently, I got the validation that I wasn’t so necessarily looking for but got nonetheless, that the path I chose, was the right path.

As a child, I always knew there was a healthier alternative in life over and above what my experiences were. I never knew exactly what it was or where it was, what it looked like or how to get it.

I just knew there was something else and I knew the moment I would find it, I would feel it.

Life throws us curve balls and it’s our attitude and ability to learn from those experiences that shape us in to who we become. DNA is just a small part in who we are, the rest is nurture, experience, relationships and so much more.

“Don’t Let Anyones Ignorance, Hate, Drama or Negativity Stop You From Being The Best Person You Can Be.”

If you can still be strong and stoic when all around you is seemingly falling apart, your strength and resolve will shine through and will validate to you, who you truly are as a person. It really doesn’t matter who you are or what you have done or not done, you will always come across people with variations of ignorance, hating, dramatics and negativity. It’s how you deal with them that will truly show your character and not enabling them to bring your mood down, is a must.

Me? I’m someone that can take poking and prodding and poking and prodding for months if not years and then it may well be slightest of things that will allow me to erupt. Kind of volcanic. Some say this is healthy, others may not. At least I don’t flip flop with mood swings every other day or week. People know where they stand with me. I wear my heart on my sleeve and call a spade a spade.

What I will say is that my eruption if that’s what we want to call it for now, will be swift and I move on and that’s me for a few years if not more. It’s out the system and no longer consuming. I’m only human!

A lot of people fail to know the meaning of ignorance. It means “lack of knowledge”. You will come to find that there are a lot of people that are ignorant in the world but don’t let what others think or feel get to you and don’t let it effect the way you think and believe.

You know what sounds right and what doesn’t. Stick to that and the ignorance of others won’t affect your daily life. Learn to tune these people out, and keep it moving.

You may well come across people in your life who can only be described as haters, I guess. These are people who really dislike themselves for who they are not or what they have been unable to achieve. They are good at transferring their negative energy on to other people because they wish they can be just like someone else.

Just remember if you have haters in your life, you may well have done something that they wish they had wanted. Let people hate because they are going to hate you regardless if you’re doing good or bad. Surrounding yourself with people who are happy, positivie, vibrant and accepting of  your success will only enhance your life. These kinds of people will likely be succesful themselves also.

People who create drama like the excitement of others being in distress. Don’t let yourself become involved with people like this. Not only are they always involved in drama but they will start to involve you! You want people in your life who will not only keep down your stress level but who want to create and keep a positive surrounding for you both.

Negativity ~ this all the above put together. Negative people are not only ignorant about life but they hate others who are positive and happy and those who are severe in this realm will do what  they can to create negativity and hurt in others. Extreme measures of this can be very damaging and painful to experience.

It’s important not to allow these kinds of people affect you. Staying positive will be a crucial ingredient in your resolve to continue being you. Stay positive no matter the situation and you’ll notice a better outcome. Sometimes life won’t always go the way you want it to and ignorant people will bother you, and haters will continue hating. That’s life though.

Often, we can’t simply remove ourselves from toxic relationships—maybe it’s a colleague, an in-law, or a parent. When the folks in our lives weigh us down and drain our energy, it can become a daily challenge to stay positive.

Below are 5 ways to remain positive around negative people we cannot avoid or don’t want to remove from our lives.

It’s Not Always About You

Many times when people are dealing with difficulties in their lives, those around them become the targets of their unhealthy coping strategies. Their behaviors manifest out of insecurities, fears, and anger. The most important thing you can remember is that this is about them, not you, and therefore don’t take it personally.

Be Grateful

Make a gratitude list, let people know how thankful you are for their presence, and count your blessings for the small things. Put good energy out into the world in return for all you have been given. Gratitude can go a long way in reminding us that life involves more than our immediate surroundings and expands beyond our everyday.

Don’t Judge Others

We all have to learn different lessons in life. Everyone has a journey and path to follow and we must never stand in judgment of others. Perhaps this person has come into your life for a reason. At the same time, this person has to come to their own realizations on their own time. Many call this karma. However you view it, when we adopt a broader view, we’re able to get out of our limited thinking.

View a hurdle as an opportunity and not a challenge.

Changing our mindsets can transform our attitudes. Slightly altering your perception can also help you imagine what the other person might be experiencing. You may want to ask yourself, What is happening in this person’s life that is making them behave this way? We all go through periods of self-doubt and uncertainty. Considering it’s difficult to stay positive right after a disappointment or a crisis, it’s ideal to cultivate healthy habits while we’re feeling good about ourselves. We can take this opportunity to reflect on how we would be affected if we found ourselves in similar circumstances.

Take some ME Time. 

Make time to pursue a hobby, journal, take a walk, or meditate. Giving ourselves time to think can create wonders on our psyches and overall attitudes. Many people underestimate the importance of being alone with our thoughts. Even if you spend the beginning of that time being angry toward this person, it is a necessary step towards shifting your thinking, so that you can return to positivity. When you allow time to process, you give yourself the opportunity to come up with insights and solutions. Meditation can be a way to gain clarity and develop positive mindfulness.

Don’t ever let someone else’s attitude or actions keep you from being just who you are. Never change who you are. Stay true to who God made you and stay positive, keeping your chest back and head up high. Learn from there negative actions to better who you are and to be the best you can be. Remember that even the best people in life have people trying to bring them down, that is what has made them great. Just look at the recent Presidential race………

Laughter is key also. The best thing I hear in my little boy, is that bottom of the gut belly laugh. Remember to tell those that matter, that you love them. Life is precious and starts innocently and positively. Stay Positive, Limit Negativity and strive to be the best you can be.

Until next time.

Live simply, love generously, care deeply, speak kindly and leave the rest to God

Parenting Strategies Every Divorced Couple Should Consider

Co-parenting is a fairly new word. Divorce isn’t new, but many states have begun giving joint custody to parents. Placement determines where the child or children will live, but joint custody gives each of the parents equal rights in decision-making.

If you or anyone you know has been through a divorce, you know how difficult it is to make any decision together. As someone who is a co-parent and who’s spent years working with couples as they transition to co-parenting, I’ve seen and felt how difficult this can be. While the adults go through a difficult time, the children in divorce are the ones who suffer most.

The best thing parents can do to ensure their child gets through the divorce as emotionally healthy as possible is to build a working co-parent relationship. If this co-parent relationship is filled with anger, bitterness and resentment, the children will suffer longer. In an effort to keep all involved as emotionally healthy as possible, here are the top nine co-parenting tips to help you or your friends through joint custody:

1. Put your child first.

When parents are arguing, the people most affected by it are the children — even when the children aren’t around. They can sense the tension and become worried about bringing up Mom or Dad in front of the other parent. Use your street management techniques rather than engaging in an argument, especially in front of your children.

2. Respond, don’t react.

Responses are thought-based, whereas reactions are emotion-based. If you have to walk away from a situation before you’re able to respond, that’s the smart thing to do. No one knows better how to push your buttons than your ex, and in high-conflict situations, that’s what will happen. When your co-parent says something that he knows will make you upset, stop, take a breath and ask to talk at a different time.

3. Listen consciously.

Many people think divorce will get rid of the other person for good, but when you have a child together, you parent together. You two are going to be in each other’s lives for a long time. There are parties, school events, graduations, weddings, etc. Listening to your co-parent when they ask for a schedule change, rather than shutting them down immediately, will go a long way in building a mutually respectful co-parent relationship.

4. Know that you don’t have to feel respectful to act respectful.

Compartmentalize your feelings for the sake of your children. Look at situations for what they are instead of the emotion that may come with it. When your co-parent keeps your children up 30 minutes past bedtime because they had so much fun catching lightning bugs outside, remember that she didn’t do it to undermine you. Your co-parent was creating memories that your children will cherish, and their happiness is the goal.

5. Get it out, but do it out of the way of your children.

You will have negative feelings, so you can’t and shouldn’t hold them in. Write in a journal or talk to a friend or relative when your children aren’t there. You need to get these feelings out, so find a way to do it so your children don’t see or hear it.

6. This isn’t a competition.

There isn’t an award given to the best parent here. There are only happy, healthy children who grow up knowing both of their parents love them. The next time you notice yourself starting to argue in an effort to “win,” remember there’s no winning or losing. It doesn’t matter who came up with the best idea or who had the most good ideas; all that matters is that your child grows up to be happy and healthy.

7. Work on whatever anger and resentment you harbor.

When you let go of your bitterness, angerand resentment, you’re taking the first step in building a co-parenting relationship. You can’t write a new chapter in your book of life if you haven’t closed the last. When you start to feel tension rise in your body, ask yourself, “Am I angry because of the past or am I angry because of this situation?” If you’re angry because of the situation, work to fix it! If you’re angry because of the past, let it go!

8. Apply a business model to your co-parenting relationship.

There are fewer emotions in business relationships, which will cut down on feelings of bitterness and resentment. We know that bitterness and resentment present itself in arguments and harsh feelings and words. Agree on a method of communication, the frequency of this communication and what the communication will be about. Doing this will ensure no one feels as if the other crossed boundaries and it sets a reasonable standard for your relationship as co-parents.

9. Even if you don’t feel positive all the time, try anyway.

You’re going to be hurt and upset, that’s a given, but how you project those feelings can make or break how well your child transitions in the divorce. Put on a smile for the few minutes you see your co-parent and get your feelings out later. Use the communication methods you agreed on and leave it at that. Remember that your co-parent is not going to do things the same as you, but that’s not a bad thing. You will each offer something different to your child to help them grow into a well-rounded adult.

Divorce can take years to get over. Applying some of these tips can help you get through the emotions of your divorce much more quickly.